Drive in my head: 2016 Mitsubishi Lancer EX

Welcome to the first “Drive in my head” where I talk about cars that I’ve not driven but can only imagine myself doing so. Think of me rambling when drunk. Because I am so incredibly lazy, I won’t even post pictures from Wikipedia, much less attempt to take photos of mentioned cars lest I be slapped with a copyright or legal claim. In this first post, I talk about the 2016 Mitsubishi Lancer EX. Here goes! (I will think of a better title soon.)

This is the car that confuses me to no end whenever it passes me by. I lost count of the number of times I thought it was an Evo X. Turns out, there are body kits that turn a Lancer into an Evo! Who knew?

First, let us take a short trip down memory lane–mine, specifically. I’ve grown to love the look of the older Lancers with its distinctive front bonnet. Certainly, by today’s standards, the pre-2007 Lancer has aged, but there’s nothing a good wash, wax and polish can’t bring out and I’ve seen many Lancers with and without rear wing spoilers.

I have to say that they all look nooooice. The Lancer does not scream for attention and dare I say: Will stay classy a decade into the future.

But, back to the 2016 Lancer. This is a car that certainly wouldn’t give you cancer. Get it? That made absolutely no sense.

Moving on.

A respectable 1.6L engine powers the Lancer, giving it oomph in a visual-heavy body and screams to push muscle. The engine puts out 117HP at 6000RPM, and a max torque of 154Nm at 4000RPM. I imagine it getting you to places and allowing you to leave the stop sign a tad earlier.

Perhaps I enjoy the steady drive of sticking in my lane and don’t mind not winging the accelerator unlike the Lancer drivers I see on the roads. Surely they are all busy people with goals to meet and targets to hit and who must absolutely be ahead of everyone else.

A quick lane change here, a dart there, a bit of acceleration here and a burst of speed there–before you know it, the Lancer has bestowed a 3 second advantage to the driver. Look, I can still see you ahead of me. Though, if I see another Lancer in my rear view mirror, I feel the need to apologize for getting in their way.

With remote operation and audio controls at your fingertips, control is a cinch–and I imagine drivers driving to the beat of Deep Techno while flicking them and going “no, this track won’t do. We need more aggro.” Surely the imposing stance of the front headlights and bonnet bleeds its character into the very driver it houses. There is just that much going on in the front, and if you’ve ever followed a Lancer for more than a meter, you know the car presents a huge rear–there’s as much going on at the back as there is at the front but that ain’t such a bad thing.

I posit that the 2016 Lancer is a dependable sedan for a daily drive.

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